Please Stay
by Miss Kirkland-Bonnefoy
Summary: A germancest fic, based around the berlin wall.  Inspired by the song- "Not Now" by Blink 182


"Please stay, until I'm gone,

I can't hold on, to me

I'm right here, waiting,

And take, my one last breath,

And don't forget, that I will be right here.

Waiting."

Blink 182, "Not now"

* * *

I slumped against the cold, grey wall, feeling a shiver run down my spine. I couldn't talk yet. It wasn't time. I didn't want to be discovered. I was early, and who knew when he would show up…if he would show up. Life seemed pretty bad on the other side, with people clinging to wheel arches just to escape, just to be free. I looked at the sky. The cotton-like grey clouds forecast snow…no silver lining. I sighed, my breath condensing before me. It was going to be a long, cold winter.

Then I heard it. The raspy, shallow breathing and the weak, stumbling movements of what could only be an injured man. It was coming from the other side. It _couldn't_ be him. It _mustn't_ be him. But I called out anyway, just to try and prove that sharp stabbing I felt in my gut wrong.

"Bruder? Is that you…?"

A pause. A pause that felt like a lifetime, before I heard the other man crash on the hardened ground, hissing various German curses.

"Ja west. Its me."

I didn't know what to think. _H…he was limping…and wheezing…_

I shook the thoughts out of my mind reluctantly…thinking about it wasn't going to get me anywhere. While thinking, I was wasting precious time. I had to ask.

"Bruder…are you alright?"

"Ja…don't worry about me"

He sounded awful, his voice all husky and broken. _Mein Gott, what was going on over there?_

After the war, growing fears of a German super-power re-arising made the soviets put up the wall…separating East from West. Separating myself from my dear bruder… I protested, but still he was ripped from my arms, placed behind an inescapable barrier, dragged into the harsh socialist regime. No wonder the people wanted to escape.

Just thinking of that Russian bastard, and what we was doing to my poor bruder, made me release a reluctant sob. I wasn't weak, I had survived one of the cruellest dictators know to man and had never shown any sign of weakness to anyone. But with him, it was different…

He was special. He knew me, he knew how I thought, how I acted, how I felt. He knew every hair on my head, every wrinkle on my hand, every birthmark on my body. And I knew the same about him.

"Listen Ludwig. No more arguing with the higher ups. This will be over soon…so stay put, ja? They'll hurt you if you make a fuss…so don't."

His words, frank and brief, but the most emotional I'd heard his voice in years. I leant closer to the wall, trying desperately to feel his warmth through the solid, lifeless stone.

"Bruder…" I whimpered into the concrete, "I'm scared."

I started to tear up. I _never_ cry, crying is for the weak. But that's just how I felt, I felt like a weak child, ripped away from everything he loved and stuck behind a grey monstrosity of a wall.

I heard him shift, crying out in the pain of moving, spitting out more German curses, before he settled again, closer to me, closer to the wall.

"Ludwig…you're strong. Don't forget that. But…I…I might not be around right now…and I don't know how long this is for…"

He paused, my heart dropped. "…Or if I'll survive. But promise me Ludwig, you wont argue with Russia…he'll hurt you…or worse."

I choked back a sob. _H…how could he do this? _That vodka-obsessed psycho had reduced by bruder, the ever confident, happy-go-lucky nation, was now pleading with me not to argue, not to stir up trouble. I slammed my hand against the wall.

"I…I'll get you out bruder…I promise…I'll get you out alive and we'll be together again…just like old times, but better! I'll protect you…I wont let him get you…you'll be…"

I paused to take a deep breath, id never promised so much to just one person. "_Mine_"

Another long, noiseless, pause. Unspoken words, fighting to come out. Fighting to break the silence. But he was too proud to say them…_wasn't he?_

"…I…ich liebe dich, Ludwig"

I couldn't hold back anymore. The tears streamed down my face and fell with the delicate snowflakes which hand just began to descend, covering the hardened earth with a beautiful white blanket. I wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to feel his warmth, to tightly embrace him and never be forced to let go.

"Ich liebe dich auch, Gilbert"

But I had to make do with leaning against the wall, my gentle sobs breaking silence between us.

We sat there for hours. I curled up in the snow, just listening to his steady, shallow breathing. He sounded better. I did try to find a peephole, a crack, anything so I could just see his beautiful ivory skin, his gleaming red eyes and snowy white hair…my efforts were in vain.

I just had the sound of his breath, feeling comforted he was even there. I fell asleep against the wall, forgetting about the plummeting temperatures and the steady downfall of snow.

When I awoke it was pitch black. It took me a few seconds to work out where I was, my mind numbed by the cold. The snow had subsided and I was shivering violently. Then I realised what was missing. I couldn't hear him breathing. I panicked.

I called out to him, again and again, over and over. No response. I didn't know what to do, what had happened to him. I hoped he'd left on his own accord, or a guard had found him. He had to be safe.

_Please, God, let him be safe._

From then on, every day I returned to that spot beside the wall. Everyday I waited. Wind, rain, snow, hail, I didn't care. I waited. I was forever waiting, wishing, hoping, preying.

I waited today. And I will wait tomorrow. I will return to that small patch of wall every single day of the year until the barrier is broken, and I can hold him in my arms once more. Like I promised him I would.

_Ich vermisse dich, bruder_

_verlass mich nicht…_

* * *

So hard to write DX

With thanks to Rosie for the German. Ily :3

_Mein Gott_- my god

_ich liebe dich_- I love you

_ich liebe dich auch_- I love you too

_Ich vermisse dich, bruder- _I miss you, brother

_verlass mich nicht- _please don't leave me


End file.
